Mother in Law…Friend or Foe?

Mother in Law
Mother in Law

One of the most baffling mysteries faced by human race across countries and cultures is the complexity of the relationship between two women, of the same family related to each other because of a man who happens to be not only the bone contention but also the common person of interest.

Every woman, mother to a son and every woman who decides to marry a man must go through this seemingly and at times very tedious relation.

Why is it that this relationship between two women is not always as rosy and pleasant as probably the others? What is the real reason of this constant tussle for power?

Is it that the mother in law refuses to give away her control over her son to a completely new woman who has just joined her family or is it that the daughter refuses to share her husband with his parents just because she is facing the biggest change of her life being separated from hers?

But why should there be a struggle of any kind? Is the whole struggle even worth it? Life being a see saw, if you’re a tough mother in law right now, things may not be as smooth for you once you turn older and are more dependent on your daughter in law. Similarly being a nasty daughter in law today may prove difficult down the years once you become a mother in law and have the tables turned upon you.

While it’s clear that marriage is the biggest adjustment for anyone especially those girls who are leaving a way of life practiced for so many years and adopting a whole new one it’s also a change for those who accept a new member into their household albeit a little less dramatic one.

It’s definitely not possible to have a smooth sail throughout, but what may help is letting go… both women must stop being too territorial for their own good. Pick and choose your battles, there’s never any point in cribbing about everything a mother in law says or does, she’s much older than you and it’s very difficult for her to change at this age. Similarly there’s no pleasure gained in controlling and interfering in the way a daughter in law runs her family or her own life. She’s not that that young to not create her own experiences. Space given by you will always be appreciated and be around to offer advice when you see things go wrong. In the end, a little less of the “ego” always helps…

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